How Good Are You at Closing "Chapters" in your Life?

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I was texting with my sister, Chudney, about her kids and asked something about her breast-feeding her youngest daughter.

“Oh!”, Chudney informed me “We stopped nursing a couple months ago.” I said that I wasn’t aware. Then she pointed me to one of her Instagram posts from early August. In it, she wisely and courageously described the ending of the “nursing” era of her parenting journey.

She wrote:

“I want to take a moment to celebrate my nursing journey – the love and snuggles shared, the pain and challenges pushed through, the moments of silence skin to skin, the bonding and joy, but also, the sense of loss and finality as this moment in my parenting journey comes to a close…Let’s take time always to celebrate the hard and the special moments of parenting.”

It broke something open inside of me.

I told her that though my breast-feeding time with Raif had lasted just over 2 years, it came to an abrupt end when I started taking supplements (in hopes of enhancing my fertility again and having another baby). The supplements changed the taste of my milk and, just like that, Raif was no longer interested. He stopped nursing (something we had BOTH loved), my milk dried up, and that was that.

It shocked me.

Additionally, it all happened the same week that he started preschool so ending nursing and dropping him off at school all happened within the same week. I told Chudney that I am still (11 years later) reeling from it (joking, not joking).

That’s when it hit me…Um…I’m not that great with transitions.

The whole “it’s time close that chapter”-thing…is NOT my favorite. And though there are chapters closing (and opening) all the time, where I am now (51 years old with a teenager), I am REALLY feeling the pages turning and the hard covers crashing down.

My husband, Rodney, and I just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary recently. What a blessing! To do so, we went away for a simple and quiet few days. I noticed right away that though we were celebrating 25 years of amazing experiences and making plans for 25 more (yeah, that’s right!!), I was also marking some “chapter closings” and they were weighing on my heart.

  1. Our son turned 13 a few weeks ago — though he’ll always be MY baby, he is no longer A baby and it really feels like it’s time to shift my parenting to align with his maturity. THAT, however, is easier said than done!! Because as much as I dig Raif as a teenager (he really is a super cool kid) I already miss those younger versions of him. The silliness. The giggles. The cuddles. It makes me so sad to think that those times (in those ways) are now behind us — which brings me to another transition….MENOPAUSE.
  2. Is Menopause TMI? Well, I could write a book about it…maybe I will!…But what an emotional transition THIS is! I guess I was done having children, but…I never meant to only have one! (More about my battles with infertility in another article), but time kept passing (as it does) and suddenly, here I am 51 years old with a teenager and my “fertile years” are behind me — that chapter has CLOSED. Wait! What?? That happened too fast!

So, as I sat there with Rodney, celebrating our milestone anniversary, I thought…of the past 25 years, the first 12 years were all about my fertility — doing everything I could to become a Mom and the last 13 years were all about doing everything I could to be the best Mom I knew how to be and now….now…everything is shifting….changing (both chapters are closing). Yikes!

Talking with my sister, Chudney, today really put all of this into perspective for me (how lucky am I to have such a wise sister!) so that I could stop for a moment and celebrate these “closing chapters” and appreciate all that the past 25 years have given me — all the life-giving lessons and beautiful moments — and gently (and with gratefulness) allow those chapters to close — knowing that the river of life never stops and the closing of one chapter is always the opening of the next.

So, as I celebrate the first 25 years of my marriage, I am also going to work on celebrating the release of my fertility and my parenting of a “baby Raif” and thank them both as I look forward to what’s next for me.

What about you? How are you with transitions? The closing of chapters? Do you celebrate them or do you close your eyes and pray nothing ever ends?

Let me know in the comments below.

All my love to you,

Rhonda

Creator of SONGTRA: Simply Sing Your Troubles Away! An Online Empowerment Course

Disclosure:

If this (or any) process ever makes you think you might hurt yourself, always reach out for help. 1-800-273-8255 is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

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May THE FORCE WITHIN be with you!

Rhonda Ross is a singer-songwriter, an Emmy-nominated actress, and a Personal Power Practitioner. For musical, speaking or workshop bookings: email info@TheRhondaRoss.com

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